Well, I'm alive

and I'm doing okay.  I'm sore as anything and I do believe that I am having a terrible allergic reaction to the bandaides or something so I am sure that will require a call to the Dr. this weekend.  I can't really sleep even with pain medicine.  I think that my mind is just whirling and I can't shut it down.  I will though.  We have had such tremendous craziness around here for months it seems.  Maybe now we can start to settle in.

I know I am not getting in what I'm supposed to get in but I am trying.  I just forget to drink.  I did get part of a protein shake in this morning, then some water, then part of a crystal light flavored water that I have been sipping on all day.  I did the stupidest thing, well among others, but my six year old needed a coat.  Now, my husband is perfectly capable of buying a coat for a six year old but nnnooooooo.  I had to go too.  So off WE go.  Me, hubby, our 19 year old mentally challenged son, our 6 year old, a three year old foster child that we hope to adopt very very soon, and our newly acquired 17 year old female AND her two month old premature baby that I actually got to take care of after his birth. 

Did I say craziness around here?  Okay, so while we are there, I have them get me a wheelchair, we had the stroller with the baby in it, and a buggy with stuff and the three year old.  Off we go to get a coat....a lousy gosh blessed coat.  What a fiasco.  Well, we finally got the coat, a few outfits for the baby, winter shirts for the 3 year old and to show my foster girl how proud I was of her for making good choices this past week and following several certain rules I wanted to treat her to getting her nails done.  Any other time IN THE WORLD, my husband would say I'm out of here I will meet you down at the play area.  OH NO...he stayed so far up our rear ends that I couldn't have farted if I had to, which I would love to do by the way.  The long and short of it, we went to the chinese restaurant, smart?????, and the owner felt sorry cuz she "coood tell I nawsius" so she gave me a small bowl of wonton broth, no charge.  Well, I'm thinking, hell, what can I have at this time in the game at a freakin chinese restaurant?????  So I ate half the bowl of wonton broth.  I didn't get sick, I'm happy.  We left, got the girl with the nails, and got out of there.

Had to drop the 19 year old off at his apartment, went through Long Johns for her cuz she missed supper.....why did she want that?  Of all times, tonight she has to have that.  OOOHHHHH....I forgot the most wonderfully, pitiful, funny, embarrassing things.  We are standing by the door waiting on him to get the van and it hits me like a ton of bricks....I am going to pass gas and I can not stop it.  So I did the best I could under the circumstances, said "Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, Iam so embarrassed, and I let it rip!!!!  It was the best part of the whole trip I have to tell ya. 

So after we got home last night from the hospital, I wanted a bologna and cheese sandwich with potato chips and miracle whip...IN THE WORST WAY.  Does that mean I am a failure or does that mean that I just felt hungry, and it is something that I like to eat?  I don't know.  Today, that desire has not gone away but it's okay.  Drink, drink, drink. 

I guess that is all I have for today.  I hear the pain medicine calling me and lesson learned and if you haven't had this surgery yet, do not go to the mall the day after coming home from the hospital.  Dumb idea.  Have a wonderful night all.

Well, it's done... I'm doing okay. He said he did a tight sleeve. Not sure what that means but at this point I don't care. Home tonight.

Oh My Gosh....it really can't be...

Is it really November 5th?  I will have surgery in just 4 more days?  I'm not ready!  Oh yes I am!  Seriously, I don't have the right foods in the house, I didn't pay the bills yet.  I have to get someone to help me clean out that one room.  And and and and and. 

I am serious.  My head is about to burst with all these thoughts.  Like there are all these teardrop blurbs crowding the old cranium.  I know it will be fine.  It is just getting there.  I have been so patient waiting for this and now....I need more time to get prepared.  I just don't have everything done that I wanted to get done.

Okay, just breathe.  Its okay.  I feel better.  Until later.

Just checking to see if I set this mobile thing right.  If I did I will be whining on here sooner than I thought

The Time Is Near....

Well, one week from tomorrow will be the day.  The day my new life starts?  The day my new journey starts?  I don't really know what THAT day means to me yet.  I have so many emotions running through my head that I can't hardly think straight.

For starters, I am scared to death.  I had to actually put it into words recently to a friend that asked what I was afraid of.  I just spit out that I was afraid of failing.  Failing what?  Of failing the sleeve, of failing the surgeon/team, of failing me.  I have started this so called journey so many different times in the past I am truly scared of failing one more time.  I know a lot of people are telling me they are here for me and I believe them.  I just have to believe myself though.  And I believe I will, just not today.

Next, I am so dammed excited I can't stand it.  The possibilities are so endless that it makes my head spin.  I read other peoples blogs and I get so excited as I read their successes and then I get sad when they talk about their backslides.  I then come back to number one...I'm excited about the endless possibilities but of course they couldn't happen to me. 

I have my last set of tests tomorrow.  I'm so very glad about that.  I wish it was next week already so that I can just get over the initial week and move on but this week will probably drag.  I have to work Thursday/Friday and Sunday and Monday so that will help.  I have told my husband that after the surgeon tells him how the surgery went I want him to leave.  He will have worked all night the night before so he will be tired and honestly I do't feel that I don't need him hanging around watching me attempt to drink my fluids and get up and walk.  He said he would be back the next day and I told him no.  We live probably an hour and 15 minutes away and there really is no reason he needs to bring the kids up then just come back the next day to get me.  I hope I don't regret this decision but I just know me...I think I will be better off by myself post surgery.

Okay, I think that is it for today.  I can't figure out how to blog from my phone so I probably won't be able to from the hospital.  Not that I would want to anyway.  Oh well, soon enough I will be blogging about how ......I'm not sure what I will be blogging but I will blog anyway. 

I'm Not Counting the Days....YET!!

Today, I finally got to attend the Nutritional class that my Physician offers and requires.  Man oh man I wish I had been able to attend this a long time ago.  It cleared up so many questions I have been having but didn't know that I should be asking them.  I guess that sounds wierd but I didn't think about it.  I figured that at some point the answers would appear....and they did. 

My surgery is scheduled for November 9th.  Wow.  It is coming up so fast and just a couple weeks ago I'm thinking that I will never have surgery.  There are a couple of things that scare me terribly.  One, is puking.  I don't want to EVER puke.  So, the next fear, dehydration because I will be afraid to drink too much for fear of puking.  I have so many thoughts running around my head....it's hard to even post today.  I will sum it up by admitting that I am getting worried and a little bit apprehensive.  I know it will be okay, it's just getting there.

Okay, I'm off to work.  Have a good one everyone.

HOT and still heavy in Florida!!

My husband and I brought two of the kids to Florida to do the Disney thing.  Tonight is our last night and I am washing clothes and packing.  You have to be so very creative to get all the "legal" stuff in the right bag or you have to give it up at the check in.  I was getting flustered over the toy giraffe being just a toy or a potential weapon so I decided to get on here for a minute before I pack up the laptop.

It has been so terribly hot here!  I'm not kidding, in every last photo that escaped my halting, my hair looks like I haven't washed it in weeks, and it looks as though I have just gotten off a water ride.  I took to using one of the resorts hand towels and wetting it constantly during the day to use as a sweat wiper!  A few weeks ago we had that terrible heat wave...remember?  Well, that was nothing to this.  I swear, I told my husband, "if I didn't lose at least 10 pounds I will just have a stroke right there on the scale".  Well, needless to say I don't have a scale so I won't be able to tell but honestly I do not think I lost a pound.  On the contrary I have been so dehydrated that I have probably gained some weight.  Back home I am being informed that the weather is cold at a little below 50 degrees and rainy.  I say bring it on...at least for a day or two.  Everyone back home has been putting the heat on already and we haven't even closed our pool yet?  Really?  What the hell?

We, of course, went souvenier shopping and I bought one shirt that has Mickey and the gang on it.  Now, for a little background, I have been wearing the same three Mickey shirts that I bought in 2001.  They are threadbare and have holes in them but I feel the best when I have them on.  I feel that they cover the fat best.  I am sure this is a figment of my imagination and I'm okay with that.  Anyway, I tried the shirt on tonight, 3X, and it fit as I suspected.  My loving husband says to me being sincere, "you should have bought several more so that you can throw those old things out".  I said back to him...."I certainly hope to be wearing totally different clothes by next summer so that I why I only bought one".  He said, oh yea....You are going to be rocking next summer.  Wasn't that nice of him?  I totally disagree with him because I can't picture anything more than what is at this moment but God bless him.

Okay, I think I have rested enough.  I can take on the giraffe toy now.  Have a good one all.