Fear go away!

I awakened this morning thinking that I miss talking to several people in my life.  I haven't talked to my sister in quite some time simply because our schedules have not matched up at all.  I have not told her or anyone in my husband's family that I am contemplating VSG surgery becaue I am afraid of rejection I suppose.  Not that it matters but honestly I am having a hard enough time within myself deciding if this life altering, life-long committment is for me without a bunch of people telling me not to do it because....  I know that people do genuinely care for me but this one time this decision has to be my own.  I won't be able to blame or praise anyone but me for this one and that is the way it should be.

I really haven't asked my husband what he thinks because I don't want to do this for him or not do it for him.  I want to do this so that I can have a more healthy life so I can be around to raise my son and hopefully raise our foster child as well.  I started late in life adopting children to begin with and I am going to be retirement age when Brady is graduating from high school.  I want to still be very active and healthy at that point.  The road I'm travelling now will not provide that for me. 

I know I can buckle down and go back to WW but honestly I feel like my time has run out.  I understand that VSG is a tool to be used in conjunction with watching intake, I understand that it is not the cure all.  I just feel that it is right for me....for today anyway.  Maybe I am selling myself short by not telling my sister.  She may be very supportive but she is so like our mother....into the herbs and the all natural.  I think it is funny actually.  We never wanted to be like mom, and she is the spittin image.  Hey Bren, I luv ya!

Anyway, I will tell her when it gets closer or after it is done or I don't know when.  I will tell her.  Once I am difinite in my own head....I will tell her.