I really don't even remember what my last post was or when. The last 18 days have been weird for me. I don't really know how I feel really about any of it. I will try to explain, to no one but myself really, but feel free to enter into my brain for a moment.
Since surgery I have felt super good....physically. I don't know if it is because I knew I had to go back to work in just a little over a week or what but I just pushed myself to get up every morning and walk around the pool. I started with one lap then increased it every time I did it. I did laps that way for the first 4-5 days. Thank goodness the pool is in the back yard and it is hidden by the fence. That way I didn't care what I looked like. Jammies and all...off I went. It didn't help, or maybe it did, that my husband only had one day off with me once I returned from the hospital. He went back to work and I had the kids. Now to be fair, I could have taken Michael to the sitters but I just couldn't see the benefit of it. Why pay the sitter when I'm here. I think I did take him one day when I just didn't have it in me to chase after him.
Food wise, or liquid wise I should say, has been the biggest obstacle for me. I know I am getting dehydrated but I just couldn't do one more liquid thing. On days 11,12, and 13 I pretty much quit drinking....period. NOTHING looked, smelled, sounded or tasted good. AT ALL!!!! I don't think it helped with me having the topical reactions that I was having to the glue or sutures or bandages or whatever. My PCP had put me on antibiotics and one of them got stuck and it really never felt like it cleared so I really think that was a lot of my problems. When I saw my surgeon on day 13, he said to stop the antibiotics and I did, gladly. After that I was able to start on the soft foods. Can I just tell you that the world all of a sudden lost the grayness surrounding it? All of a sudden, life had purpose again.
Let me just say that through all of that liquid business I had to go back to work. So of course those that knew that I had the surgery wanted to know all the particulars, and those that didn't know quickly found out and then wanted to know all the particulars. So it was very interesting to say the least. I hadn't even told my families...well my sister, mother in law and one sister in law knew of the family. Why????? I don't know. I think I have seen so much judgement and smart ass comments surrounding any type of weight loss surgery that I just didn't want to hear it. Truly I don't think I would have met with any negativity from the families but for some reason, in my cobwebby head, this was something I was doing for me and only me and I didn't really care what anyone else thought. I know that sounds so very ugly and I don't mean it to but I have had to wake up daily for over half my life and immediately think rotten terrible thoughts about myself that I just didn't want to have to defend my actions or my reasonings. So I didn't tell many people.
Anyway, I lost my train of thought. Since starting the soft foods I have been eating more and drinking more although it has been mostly water because there still isn't anything that sounds good to me. I haven't even been able to get my protein shake in but I still try. I'm sure it will get fixed within my head but just not right now. I have added things like eggs, mashed potatos, tuna and small bits of canned fruits in water. I am so much happier. My only problem right now is remembering to slow down and chew, chew, chew! I really am a fast eater at heart and it is very hard to break that cycle. That chest freeze that you experience in the middle of your chest when you swallow to much too fast is enough to send me into orbit so I have to constantly remind myself....SLOW DOWN you idiot!!!!!
I have not, to date, puked anything back up. I don't plan on it either. I just refuse to eat that much that it happens. So if nothing else I am more on that cautious side of things and I don't care....entry only here folks.
Also, I HATE, DETEST, CAN'T STOMACH fish. However, I have gotten on the old computer and looked up some recipes and my husband and I went to the store last night and actually picked up some Cod. I am not happy about it, but I need the protein. My first recipe is of course beer battered but my plan is to take the breading off before eating it. I did buy tarter sauce as a cover up just in case. My husband is thrilled as he and his whole family are avid fish eaters and he is excited to think that fish may be introduced into our lives.
I know I have been rambling on and on but it's all been stuck here in my head. I took a mental health day off of work today, yes without pay, but I need it. I have been going non-stop since September and I just needed it.
I don't know how to put up the little graph thing that a lot of you do to show the measurements and weight losses but since my journey began I am down 29.6 pounds and since surgery I am down 16.2 pounds. I don't even want to compare to any of you because I think I am behind the eight ball but already my knees feel so much better and working a twelve hour shift is already so much easier.
Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful day all.
Me again! I thought I'd chime in here and throw in my 2 cents. I've never hated fish altogether but I did hate canned tuna. It had a funky smell and was just nasty. Then one day, I saw the packaged (instead of canned) and thought, well, I'll give it a try. I'm so glad I did. It's a little fishy smelly but I drown it in lemon juice right in the package and eat it up. It's an excellent source of protein. Also, sometimes I actually take my tuna out of the packet, add a little Light Miracle Whip, a small handful of walnuts or pecans, and a chopped up apple. Yum! And this will last me a couple of days. Also, I know milk has carbs but my dietitian told me not to worry about the carbs in milk...only in stuff that's really not too good for you. When I'm short on protein for the day or I just don't feel like food, I down about 15-20 ozs. of skim milk. I do this a lot. Just some tips!
ReplyDeleteOh and I want you to know that if I'm eating something breaded....it stays breaded. I don't do it all the time but when I have fried chicken or fish...or even baked breaded whatever...I eat it as is because not much is going down the old hatch anyways before I'm stuffed. I might as well enjoy it, right? I've not gained anything yet.... in fact, I'm still losing. I just wanted to say this because you are no longer dieting, you've made a life change. What naturally skinny person ever eats the exact right things. Part of why I chose this surgery was because I wanted to be normal and not have to fret over every single thing that crossed my tongue. Now don't get me wrong, most of the time I stick to mostly lots of protein, very low carbs, and lots of "skinny" liquids but when I want something or if what is being presented in wrapped in something such as breading, I eat just the right amount for my sleeve and then I normally don't worry about it. And just to tell on myself, I went on vacation last week and hate all kinds of devilish foods and even drank a sugared Starbuck's drink. I thought for sure that I had gained but when I got home and weighed, I'd lost another 3 lbs. I'm not saying that if you ate like I did all the time that the weight would continue to come off but do what you know is right the majority of the time and when something not so right presents itself to you or you're craving something not so right...have it for goodness sake ... and if you are anything like me, now that I'm post sleeve, even when I feel like I can eat a huge bowl of something really bad...I'll start and after 2-4 bites, I have no desire to eat anymore. My appetite is so different than before surgery. It's like my body gets the satisfied, full signals it NEVER got before.
Sorry for the long comment but please don't fret over that breading on the fish! I'm sure you've eaten that particular meal by now but this is for the next time. Keep smiling!
Hey Judy, if you want to know how to put the ticker thing on your blog, I will be glad to tell how. Just email me.
ReplyDelete