Introducing Me.

I have no idea why I decided to start a blog today, especially about me being fat and wanting to change it.  It is what it is I suppose.  It's just that I lose so much of my precious time on earth thinking about, fretting over, and getting depressed because I am fat.  I am so very sick of even thinking about it.  I'm like everyone else who has had an eating disorder, weight problem or whatever you would want to call it.  I have tried the diets, succeeded at only one, Weight Watchers or WW, but life happened and I gained it all back and then some.

I have succeeded  in so many ways in my life.  I am a successful medial professional, successful mommy and wife, and gosh darn it I'm even a successful step-monster, I mean mother.  Why then can I not stop this battle that I have been having with myself?  I do not have the knowledge base nor the energy to even contemplate the vast amount of reasons that are stuck somewhere deep within my head.  Somewhere up there in a file box that I am sure is all rusted up from non-use.  Forgotten information that should have been thrown out years ago.  Well, today is the day..the day I start to pry open that file cabinet, drawer by ever lovin' drawer. 

In order to find peace and have a successful journey to my future it would make sense that you have to figure out the past and put it to rest.  Right?  I say, RIGHT??  Don't worry, I'll get it one day.  Before I die would be good but ya never know. 

If you happen to have stumbled on this blog by accident, don't fret it.  Stay awhile, post a little but please, be kind.  I haven't been taking to ugly lately.  I don't blog to please anyone else, just myself.  If I can share a bit of information that may help someone along the way then great.  I would love that.  Ultimately though I really am trying to just find my "weigh" in this body of mine.  Change is so hard..to do and to accept.  Other people do change without appearing to be affected in the least little way.  I wake up and I'm in a sweat because I actually started a personal blog.  Whatever. 

Just a warning.  Since this is my personal blog I reserve the right to say what I want when the mood strikes me.  I will try not to be vulgar, vulgur, valgar..screw it...ugly in what I say or how I say it.  People who know me though know that I'm pretty forward and honest about everything I do and say.  Too honest for the most part.  Okay, enough.  Michael wants a bubble bath and who am I to turn tell him no.  A clean 3 year old is right up my alley!